why I don’t want kids

Here’s the thing, I like kids. I currently work for the YMCA and am around kids a lot. I think they’re great. They’re funny and smart and just tiny adults with huge imaginations. Of course, there are some shitty kids out there, but, for the most part, I like being around children. 

I don’t want any children, however. Believe me, I can see myself as a mother. My kids would be rad as f*ck. I’d be the cool tattooed photographer mom with my British musician husband (kidding…. kinda). My kids would sport beanies and skinny jeans. We’d be so over the top hipster it’d make you sick. And my babes would be so loved and taken care of with our sweet flat downtown somewhere with twenty seven dogs because I love them so much and have problems saying no. We’d have a pretty nifty life. 

There’s one problem, however. I’m entirely too selfish to ever have children. I like my life too much. I like traveling and I like money. I like to get up and go whenever I want. I like the ability to move around, to change jobs, to live my life how I want to, when I want to. I’d love to tote around a little mini-me, but I’d have to be filthy rich. I mean, my kid would be coming with me to Stockholm, Versailles, and Akueryi. We’d learn about art at the Louvre. Study history in Berlin. We’d homeschool the shit out of the world. 

But, as it turns out, I probably won’t ever be that rich and I’m not willing to give up the best travel years of my life to my offspring. I wouldn’t even give up travel for love (exception: James Bay. I’d live in freaking North Dakota if he sang me to sleep every night). 

I’m also not willing to give up hard earned money to buy diapers or a house in the suburbs. Heaven forbid I get stuck in the suburbs. Keep me in a small flat in a metropolitan area and we’ll call it good. 

I’m selfish. I want my man to myself. I want my money for myself. I want to up and fly to India whenever I want. I don’t want to put my life on hold for someone else. And I don’t want my kids to want for anything. I don’t want to have to put them in daycare. If I have kids, I want them to have the best life possible and I want me to have the best life possible, too. I’m not going to settle for anything less. 

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